If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
