i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
ttyl tear gas
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
