this beer tastes like vomit already
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
