"it" just moved
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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