how can u be prego again
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
