Jerry, you need to find god
I got her a Nickelback box set.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
