Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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