please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
