Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
