no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
