i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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