after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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