YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I can text with my tongue
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
