you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
