Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
