A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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