nut hugger
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
