For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
