You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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