Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
