I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
