Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
