AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
