Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
my poor anus
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
