i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
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I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
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I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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