I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
