it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize