hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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