she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I love you.
Bad choice
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