I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
