How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
