I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
