did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
