12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
