My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
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He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
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Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
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