She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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