tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
