Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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