I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
