hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
