Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
