I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Randomize
