nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You took a bar mat shot.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
