I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
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he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
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I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
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