Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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