Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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