My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
