He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
