I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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