So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
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NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
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my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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