Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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