Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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