Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
