Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
