dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Randomize
