you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
