if you like me you must not know who I am
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i permit you to call me
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
