But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
