dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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