Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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