she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
