I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Drunk is a universal language darling
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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