I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
