How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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