My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
